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Common doesn’t make it normal |
It’s alarming to me how many women I meet, from young to old, who think their hormonal symptoms are normal. Common doesn’t make it normal, so let’s break it down so you can understand exactly what you’re supposed to experience and what you’re not.
We are schooled to believe that you’re either lucky or unlucky in this department and it’s normal to experience mood swings, cravings, sore boobs, pain in varying degrees and patterns, heavy flow, clotty blood and misery for at least a week.
It’s just one of those female things, it’s normal, take a painkiller, pad up and carry on.
Well, I grew up experiencing otherwise and observing Nature and its laws.
This is not how it is supposed to be. Pain is an alarm signal, dark clotty blood is congested, this is not healthy. My intuition told me that if everything was working fine, then it would not be painful and why the variances between women? The only logical reason was an imbalanced system.
After the following explanation, ask yourself if the ‘normal’ symptoms above were to be experienced in any other system of your body would they be taken more seriously? Pain, cramps, swellings, congested fluids…in the cardiac region? In the stomach? The bowels?
Then why are we either expected to put up with it and manage it or worse, medicate our entire hormonal system to suppress it?
No hormone drug can regulate you or help balance your hormones, let’s make that clear. They take over control of the system for a while, and give you a period once a month, if you take the placebo pills, if not, you can skip an entire bleed.
Please, I am not suggested you do this! It is seriously impactful on your body, and I am saddened by how many fertility patients I see who have been suppressed for so long and are now dealing with the consequences of infertility. If you suppress the system long enough while other health issues are developing, the body does not want to switch it on without some serious assistance and gentle loving healing. But I digress…
The Cycle: Four Phases
A menstrual cycle is 28 days long, not once a month, not on the same date of every month, not ‘regular every 35 days’. We don’t follow the moon calendar as humans, but our biology does. And the cycle runs from DAY 1 of bleeding until the next DAY 1 of bleeding.
- Four phases: It goes through 4 phases of 7 days each in the exact mimic of a lunar month.
- Moon timing: In fact, most women should sync with a significant phase of the moon, either full or new moon are most common, but every 28 days is NORMAL, with 1 day’s grace on either side, times shift too as the moon rises and sets each day.
This is why a woman’s monthly bleed was called her Moon Cycle for centuries.
Winter Begins with Introspection
Before the bleed starts, there should be a few days of introspection, not a ‘syndrome’, not something diagnosable, it’s Winter, you see.
The 4 weeks of our menstrual cycle also reflect the 4 seasons of each year, as we move through our cycle, we move through the 4 seasons, each bringing a different energy to your body, mind and spirit. Which is why you are not the same every day, or every week.
It is why you are up for something (or to something 😊) one week and 2 weeks later you don’t want to change out of your pj’s, see anyone and you’re eating the snack cupboard clean while crying and being angry at the same time over something small?
If we only understand what we need during each phase, we could navigate this journey much more smoothly.
Winter: The Bleed
We’ll get back to the beginning of Winter, because it always comes around again, doesn’t it?
It’s midwinter when the bleed hits and the first day or 2 are usually the most bleeding. But it should be a healthy bright red colour, of smooth blood with absolutely no clots or pieces at all.
No, it’s not normal and you thought it was just the lining coming out. Yes it is, but in the wrong format, it has not matured properly, has not developed properly and is not favourable for an embryo to grow and develop in. This is a fertility risk.
We want our blood to look vibrant and bright red, and for it to flow easily. Is this not how you picture the blood flowing in your veins? No, it’s not the same blood, this is a bloody tissue that grows specifically in the uterus with specificity to support growing a baby, of course, but it must still resemble a clean mountain stream that brings healthy nutrients for good growth.
A Healthy Flow
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yes, no pain |
- Flow: So, we should bleed for 2-3 days of a decent, moderate, bright red, easy flowing blood that flows effortlessly and without pain, yes, no pain. Not a little, not ‘just the normal cramps’, none.
If the blood lining (endometrium) is formed with the correct amount laid down in the following phase and matured properly in the next, then it will detach easily in the 4th week and be expelled easily through our funnel-shaped uterus/cervix that is perfectly designed for easy, moderate, manageable flow.
Large volume bleeds or any bleed that is dark, congested and clotty cannot detach easily and hence cannot flow easily resulting in ‘tearing pains’ or cramps a few days before the bleed as it is forcibly removed from the uterus and then increasingly painful cramps during the period, usually preceding passing a clot.
Many have explained this exact pattern and of course it makes sense. The uterus is a large muscle, designed very efficiently to push a much larger volume out. It will contract to push out a clot that is blocking the rest of the blood flow.
This will happen in many places of our body when a blockage exists, ask anyone who has had their gallbladder removed in an emergency or a kidney stone! All scenarios are not ok. Thankfully our clot has an exit and that makes all the difference in the critical severity and therefore the expected tolerance of these terrible symptoms.
Key Timing
- Days 1–3: The bleed should taper off by the end of day 3 beginning to slow down.
- Days 4–6: day 4 less, and day 5 even less, a very light, still red flow and then ending that day or the last trail on day 6.
- By day 7: And that should be it. No spotting continuing for days (or preceding the bleed), not brown or any other discoloured blood, a gentle taper to end, the very longest stretch to the end of day 7, but that is when the new lining needs to start growing, because it only has 7 days to grow before it stops growing and must mature from there. Remember, 7 day increments, 1 season at a time.
Spring: New Growth
As the bleed begins to settle on day 3, the brain has already told the ovaries to start growing a new follicle (the housing) and maturing the new egg (which lives in the follicle and matures inside). This is when we begin moving into Spring.
Spring is when new growth begins, when the sun begins to shine a bit more, the temperature is rising a bit, and our mood shifts, we get most of our body and energy back and start to refocus on the tasks at hand.
This is because estrogen production begins by the follicle to mature the egg and begin the growing of the base of the endometrium when the bleed is finished. There must be enough growth of the follicle and enough estrogen rising in the blood stream to switch off the brain’s stimulus to grow any more than 1 follicle and to switch off the bleeding in the uterus to grow more lining.
Estrogen lays down the base of the bed, the soil. This is spring, where we have been shedding the old and there is new growth and new seeds growing. And we are on the up this week.
Summer: The Estrogen Phase
Then as the estrogen rises we get more energetic, focused, driven, amorous and more focused on the world around us, caring for others, creating the container of our life and for our loved ones, heck, that is even when we make more loved ones!
And I know everyone thinks this is ‘the real me’, I’m finally back! But its not, it’s just a phase of you, the estrogen phase, Summertime, when the living is easy…
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This is when we forgo our internal space in lieu of our external one. |
This is when our needs and complaints are put on the back burner and we focus on what everyone else needs and the more fun parts of life. And thank God for estrogen, because without it, we’d have little motivation to ever be partners and mothers!
Summer: Ovulation
At the peak of midsummer, we ovulate. The estrogen peaks, the brain reads the signal and poof, out it comes. Hopefully you have either caught this window or missed it, depending on your desires for life, but this is the 24 HOURS that the egg can be conceived. Only 24 hours, once a month.
- Before ovulation: You can get pregnant having intercourse from about 2-3 days before you ovulate, because you release a clear mucusy discharge when the estrogen is peaking to ready the tracts and uterus and tubes for sperm entry.
- Timing: It helps them get up into the tubes (it’s a very far swim) and keeps them alive in that medium for up to 3-5 days at times. So, a baby can be conceived any time over about 5 days from day 12-16 in a regular 28d cycle.
Autumn: Progesterone and Preparation
As soon as the follicle has released the egg, the cells transform into a gland and start producing progesterone.
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This is “the Mother Hormone” |
This is “the Mother Hormone”, because its main function is to mature the blood lining the estrogen grew and convert it into a format that an embryo could implant into.
You have 7 days. In 7 days the lining must be perfect, because that is when the developing embryo would arrive in the uterus and need a place to implant. We must be ready to receive it and support the blood flow to continue growth and placental development. This would take you to day 21. Progesterone makes the bed, adds the comfy duvet, pillows and warm sheepskin to lie on and sink into.
This week of progesterone support is balmy, its Autumn. It’s when the sun is warm but not hot, the days are gorgeous, the nights are getting nippy but it’s a calm, generally happy and a great week where we feel good, strong, on top of things. Not Summery, but good.
When Fertilisation Takes Place
If that egg has been fertilised, then immediately the embryo divides into 2 cells, then again into 4, 8, 16 etc and begins the journey to who you see in the mirror.
But it travels down the tube for 5 or 6 days before entering the uterus and being the correct size and developmental stage to implant and take growth further. This is kind of like putting your seedling in the soil. Now, is the soil ready to support its growth?
When an egg has fertilised, the developing embryo releases Beta HCG, the one that gives the 2 lines or smiley face 😊 on the pee stick, which is the messenger to that gland making progesterone on the ovary to keep making progesterone, don’t stop, and that is what keeps the lining growing, blood flowing and life happening for the first 12 weeks until the placenta takes over that job.
When Fertilisation Does Not Take Place
- If no fertilisation took place: then no message and no embryo after 7 days makes the gland start dying and the progesterone start dropping, and the spiral blood vessels in the lining begin to corkscrew themselves closed like a tap, stopping blood flow and growth and beginning the detachment process.
And here we are, Autumn is waning and Winter is coming.
Waning Autumn, Returning Winter
This is when you begin to move inside, the weather is colder, so we spend more time inside, inside ourselves.
As the progesterone declines in our blood and our body readies to shed another cycle, our desire for life outside wanes and we become introspective.
Without the rose-coloured lens the hormones give us, stark, clear view of our lives and the people in it. We become acutely aware of feelings that have been suppressed most of the month that now do not have a suppression lid, we feel them, all of them, sometimes at once, sometimes they surprise us when we are pretending to be ‘normal’.
This is the time where our real emotions become clear to us, it is not a medical condition where a mood disorder descends upon us for a week! These are your feelings underneath, even if you were hiding from them.
Our body also needs a lot of energy to effectively shed lining and restart a new follicle’s growth. This week we do not have energy for everyone else and this is why we have even less patience for others and life’s usual daily demands.
This is why our family treads lightly around us and we’d prefer if they all just left you alone!
Release and Renewal
And just before we start bleeding again we hit the middle of Winter. We are deep in our cave, isolated is best, desiring comfort, warmth, rest, peace and quiet.
Why? For us to do what? Release. Release all the life blood that we so generously made and were willing to give up, support, nourish and grow, not just a baby, but that child into adulthood? That’s quite a lot. A lot of energy, a lot of blood, a lot of resources, a lot of promise, a lot of love.
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So be gentle with yourselves |
So be gentle with yourselves, we are the Mothers of the future and we need to look after ourselves. We are the creators of the container for life to thrive in. If your body isn’t right, listen to it and seek help to correct it, don’t suppress your imbalance, heal it.
